Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize