Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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