Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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