party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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