i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize