Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
