I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
