honey bunches of taint.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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