I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
