John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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