I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
