Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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