I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
