Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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