wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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