I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
only if we run a train.
done.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
