Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
