its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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