Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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