your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
