I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
