yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
