i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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