Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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