4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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