If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
