we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
