You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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