I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize