How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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