how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
