just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
