just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
