I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My pussy is not your playground.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
