I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
