how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
