So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
