U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
