did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need moral support for this bender
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
40s are totally the cure
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
