I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
