So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize