You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
