Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
