Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
