No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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