If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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