can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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