when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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