Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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