my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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