It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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