he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
