well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
