I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
