PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
