i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
