Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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