I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
