every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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